February 8Th 1989 11:20pm Ricky-Lee Wright blessed the earth..
OK i wouldn't go that far, but he sure did make an impact, first surviving child of Helen and Cliff, born with an obsession for all things transport and a humor only a certain few care to laugh at, he later became my big brother!

My brother is someone i look up to, without a doubt. He left school with 11 gcses after taking his maths exam's early, He got a job with in a week of leaving school and had a full time job with a yearly bonus and a car and a college course before the age of 18.
Before he reached 20 he was engaged and had his own flat.

Yesterday he celebrated his 21st birthday.
The past few months have been hard after he split from his fiance and battled to stay sain wile trying to arrange bills and accommodation.
He has pulled through it and yesterday he enjoyed a lovely 21st birthday.
So here's what happened...

Friday night he had a birthday meal in town followed with drinks with 20+friends.
Saturday he went out to Sherwood with a few friends.
Sunday he spent a night chatting at friends houses
Monday, his birthday went a bit like this...

I got up at 6:45am and we opened his presents.
He got cards a plenty, £21 from his gran(wish i would have thought of that), An engraved trinket from his uncle, 2 t-shirts,a leather wallet and a ncfc hoddie from me, his little sister and booze,scratch cards and pjs from mum and dad.

anyone spot my cupcake card ?... Teresa has already!

He then toddled off to work were his mates made sure he was reminded what day is what at all hours.
I went off to college and collect his birthday cake.
upon returning home me and mum decorated the cake and house with banners and balloons.




We then awaited his arrival home, armed with a cake with nicely lit candles and a camera...
some other people also waited...






tehe, can you see the balloons all over the garden..

anyway,
we then ate cake and chatted and he opened the cards that came through the post, he even had a handmade one from a lady across the road.

He later told us what a lovely day he had had. There *Are* other photos but there deemed to embarrassing to post.

Anyhow, i love parties and when I'm 80 with my little slippers on ill still be celebrating them.

Here's to another 21 years bro, xxx

hello...again

Hiya *waves*

^^^^ i hate the word hiya, why did i say hiya?..no lower..

I have come to a decision, as much as i would no doubt like to edit some of my past posts in the months to come, i wont be.

The whole point of this blog for me is to keep my past fresh in my memory, my past isn't perfect so i shouldn't be aloud to edit it to be so.

I will not be checking back for spelling mistakes or rewording anything if i see its wrong

and i will not be deleting really horrid cringe posts that i may blog about in the coming months.

This is my life unedited!

Nexxxxxt thing on my 'to blog about' list, is what i did today and will be doing today.

Its only half way through the day so i can't predict the future, but its a fair bet that when my brother comes home from work we will be having a party for his birthday and booze a plenty.

But that is to be done and i will spill the beans on that lot tomorrow along with pictures!

Toddddddday, i have been to college with my good friends and fellow blogger's/stalkers, Clairabelle Crumpet, Julietta Jellybobble, Teresa and a few other randoms.

We laughed, got messy and chatted a lot or rubbish, all wile painting a sheet of fabric like a toddler - now that's what i call women multi-tasking!

It was a great, if not messy laugh and ill be doing it all over again in a few weeks.

for now my little followers i am off to join in with the decorating of a cake!

Bye for now or as Claire would say.. SNOGS!

x

Will i have time?

Will i possibly have time to do my blog tonight with it being my brothers 21st and going to college and lots of other really exciting things?

I don't really no, sooo, here's my little post to tell you ill be back when I'm back to write what i write and in till then

adios

I carnt watch

Dear ___________,

I cannot watch you do this to yourself anymore, I cannot watch you waste your life.

Over the past 10 years iv seen you decline, but a decline i will no longer witness.

Iv done this before and i will do it again, I'm cutting all ties, chopping off the strings, setting myself free...

I am leaving you to go it alone.

I set out to help you, to get you on the right track, it didn't work.

I have failed.

For that reason i can no longer continue to aid you in your quest to fail.

Its not in my nature to sit back and watch you do this to yourself and i won't change my ways, much to your discomfort.

Chalk and cheese they said we were, how right they are.

I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart for failing you and for making you believe i was the answer to all your questions.

I'm sorry iv let you down.

I'm sorry if i gave you false hopes.

I'm sorry if you really do feel I'm your only hope.

I got you off the alcohol, i lied to your family.

I helped you with your smoking, i even brought them to help your withdrawal.

I cannot pretend anymore, i cannot lie for you or to you.

I have to live for me which means being honest with us both.

I can no longer carry you.

I can no longer plan out your funeral in my head for your only 16, and I'm unable to help.

I don't want to give up on you but i don't want to hold you back from the help you really need, i don't want to be responsible for your death.

I am sending you my best wishes and luck for the future, but watching you spiral out of control, i wont be doing.

To watch you buy drugs is killing me inside, after everything iv done for you.

I go to your funeral every night in my dreams, I cannot get the vision out of my head.

Best friends for life we may always be but we will never share the same views and i can longer continue on this journey with you.

We will part soon, i hope it doesn't end with one of us dead.

Iv laughed so hard iv cried when looking back at our past & iv also cried so hard iv laughed when i look at our future.

I refuse to stand by and watch you die, but i can not change this either, so i will not be watching you at all.

I will no longer tell you its okay

I will no longer borrow you the money to bail you out.

I will no longer stand back and watch you fall into a sorry state on the floor & I will no longer lie to people and tell them your safe and your with me when your miles away with strange men.

I love you enough to let you go.

I hope you get the help, i hope you find the answers, i hope you will be happy but deep down i no you wont, as your the girl i tried to save when you couldn't cope.

Another failure in your life is not what you need.

...

I think its good to tell you first off that i laugh very easily so the following may get you annoyed or make you LOL like it did to me:




Enjoy.