Bob the Blogger

Who else would have a half hour laughing fit with you via text message at 22:30 at night & leave tears full of funny dripping from your eyes? Queenie would, That's the kind of girl she is...

Gee, It must be pushing 4 years since i parked my big ass in her class room, Her eyes rolled at the prospect of another nutter joining her already full to capacity group of crazies but she found room for me to stay and i silently declared right there and then that i would never allow myself to be removed from her pupil list.

See Jenna Wright is never wrong and i always know a good thing when i bash in to it.

Here she was, in a cluttered classroom, in a shop without an ounce of warmth, teaching 15 people how to use a rubber stamp.

Did she grumble when we got it wrong? Did she look worried when i refused to make eye contact?

Did she fail to repeat the process another 100 times? Did she decide she simply wasn't paid enough for this stress? or get angry as 5 students demand 7 different drinks?

No.

She took it in her stride. It is typical of the queen i have come to know and love, to go above and beyond her expected duties.

By giving a part of herself she didn't have to give, She gave back to others a part of themselves they thought they had lost forever.

I decided long ago that this member of royalty will not just be my favourite teacher, She would be my friend.

You know my Queenie, shes been a bit down lately and it frustrated me deeply to see her in such a state. So much so that i find myself typing this frantically into my keyboard.

Some people just get all the shit. Some people just need a god damn break.

Some people, Some really nice bloody people deserve some happiness for once.

See, if i had a magic wand, id wave it over her multi coloured hair and inflict on her some good luck and some tickets to see Dolly Parton because for everything she does for everyone else, She gets nothing but shit in return. I'm putting this out there right now and I'm saying to you blog reader, I just don't think its fair.

I'm sorry you feel like shit dear girl, id change it for you in a flash.

If only James Arthur and Will.I.Am would come see you!

Wile my dearest partner in crime was busy being wacky & witty she taught me alot of things without realising it.

See, the thing about not having a close relationship with your mother is the ability to allow your brain to be morphed by empowering women and people you respect. My fragile, untainted, barely 16 year old mind was a blank canvas when i met her and now its full of bad words, stupid stuff and how to dress Magnolia Tilda dolls with cute paper. Along with other priceless extra curricular lessons.

When she falls, She does get back up. When shes mad, She shows shes mad. When she wants something, she aims for it. When she does something, she smashes it. When shes funny, shes hilarious. She never leaves a solider behind as she marches through life with her entourage following.

See, once you know Queenie, you know her for life. no-one wants to leave her. Hence why its blooming critical she gets some good times soon because we need her. Shes our middle.

Ain't no party be happening if Queenie ain't dancing. Get what I'm saying?

2, 4, 6, 8 who do we appreciate.. 9, 10, count again.. Queenie likes brick shit house men..

I'm struggling to find something shes ever done wrong.. I mean its never happened..

Wait, she did lose me in the middle of London one time..

Oh and she shouted out my middle name really loud...

Ah and the time she sang happy birthday to me in asda was a good example..

Also a time she got a bit shopper ragged when someone dared to push in front of her in Schuh...

The time she fell over and broke her arm...

The moment she asked for a straight jacket in the mind shop..

Marching us out of a restaurant that didn't sell diet coke or when she showed me up by swearing repeatedly during a horror film at the cinema..

Encouraging me to take 5 forks from nibbles when i only needed one ..

Also the time she complained about the price of a tram ticket and snorted at me for having no gums.. okay, okay.. so there are a few little tiny incidents that are worth noting but you know what, shes a reet good laugh is our claireyfairy.

Dearest, delicate, delightful, darling, dewdrop, dimple, diva Queenie,

You are fabulous, You are splendid and you will make it through this stronger than a bottle of really strong glue. That's just what you do, Its just what you've always done and no matter what happens, I will always be around to carry your lunch up the hill and watch pointless things at the cinema with you because just like you did for me all those years ago, I will always believe in you and your ability to get your shit together. 

Some people have skinny bodies and eat cream cakes for a living, yet I'm still luckier than them.

For i have you in my life and an unlimited cinema ticket in my pocket. Boo ya, up in ya junk.

Love you long time, Jenna Bobs  x