Tuesday, 16 November 2010

I do not drink coffee because...

1) It leaves a smell hours after its been consumed.

2) Its bitterly strong.

3) Its dirt coloured brown.

4) It costs more than tea.

5) It stains my cute cups.

6) It doesn't look as warm on a cold day, as tea does.

7) It keeps me awake when all i want to do is sleeeeeeep.

8) Its addictive.

9) It stains my teeth

10) I do not drink coffee because, i don't want to!

Paranormal Activity

My mum and dad often share a true story with me, about my baby days that goes a little like this:

Back in 1992 when my mum was pregnant with me and my brother was 3, money was tight. They were going from council house to rented property's then back again.

When they fount out i was on the way they decided to move one last time to a bigger house.

They went to see the council and expected to be put on the list and that they would be a wait.

But that's not how it planned out...

the council instantly new of a house, one that was local, that they could move into straight away!

wow, my dad didn't believe his luck, people normally wait years for a family home to come available...

The next day dad ended his current rental agreement and they started moving things into the new house.

My mum was 9 months pregnant at this point and wanted everything in place for when i came along.

the house was a 3 storey house, with two bedrooms on the top floor.

My mum and dad took the biggest room, just based on its size and thought nothing of it.

A few weeks later, my mum goes into labour and I'm born.

It was then that the spooky things started.

A family member came to see me and had a look around our new home, they took my brother upstairs to see his bedroom and noticed he wouldn't walk past my mum and dads room.

He would walk upstairs, no problem and into his room, but that's as far as he would go.

They thought he was being silly but told my mum and dad anyway.

My dad then told them how he has noticed he had been the same, and that he would not settle at all upstairs since being in the new house. He noticed the constant looking around the room, the crying. Not wanting to be upstairs at all and going right off his favourite toys if they were in his room.

My dad felt the house had a weird feeling to it, not made easier by a newborn and toddler running around, one of which wouldn't settle.

He often got asked by his friends

"have you move into ______ road"

to which my dad would say yes and people would strangely move on or not talk to him.

My mums friends were a bit shifty towards her to.

The final straw came after a very long night of trying to settle my brother.

I was in my mosses basket at the bottom of my parents bed, my dad had gone to bed a few hours before as he had work and mum had stayed up to see to me.

She climbed into bed, had one last look to make sure i was settled, when suddenly, she jumped up screaming, tears running down her cheeks.

She woke my dad and he asked her what had happened.

She said she has seen a man standing over my cot, with big black curly hair, a big guy.

My dad checked the house, no one was there.

Then right on cue, my brother woke up again.

My dad could not take anymore.

My brother wouldn't sleep, my mum wouldn't stay in the house alone and i was now being "watched"

He went to work the next day and took someone aside and asked them why everyone had a problem with this house.

The person he took aside was a lady, who lived in the house before we moved in.

She explained how her husband had been on the top floor and her two small boys were playing around in there room, her husband, who had black curly hair,fell asleep and the children started playing with matches...

the house caught fire, they were all trapped and the man was in the room that my mum and dad were now in.

Passes by failed to save them and all 3 died.

The house was haunted.

My brother wasn't mardy, he was seeing things.

My mum wasn't been stupid, she did see something.

My dad wasn't being over protective, he was scared for our safety.

The next day my mum and dad took me and my brother to the council once again and demanded to no why they were not told of this and that they wanted a new house straight away.

The council got back to them 2 days later and said they had a place for us.

My dad went round to view it and said there was dirty every were, no carpets, no cooker, no nothing. but he took the place straight away as it was better than spending another night in the house we were in. He cleaned it, we moved in and we left that house.

On leaving the house, my dad took one last look and spotted all around the top window, black sut stains, all of which he hadn't spotted when we moved in.

its only small but i carnt find the others at the moment.

Friday, 12 November 2010

The book of lost things

My book is my mind and lost are my thoughts.

Lost in thinking if i will ever work my mind out!

It is not undocumented that my relationship with my one remaining living grandparent is not fantastic.

To feel so low about someone you should rate so highly is heartbreaking.

For many years iv got on with it, took the insults, took the bitching, took the irrelevant comments, took the pain or ignored what was going on right under my nose.

Its funny, of all the things, of all the times she made me cry, this was not one of them.

Ive walked away. A massive step for me.

Iv lost out on many lovely things that should have been.

I always stick by these people when everyone else has long gone, but there is only so many times you can get the knife stuck in your back before you realise, if you don't run now, that knife will never ever be removed from your back. You will always be scarred.

My lost thing is not lost. I never had it.

I never set out to leave, i never set out for it to end like this but that's the way its happened and for once, I'm glad.

Im the one that always felt lost.

I don't feel guilty anymore, i feel free.

Sometimes you need to let go to see if there is anything to lose.

I don't have any grandparents. they all died many years ago and i can not tell you how hard it is for me to come to terms with that, any grandparents who i feel anything for are long gone now.