Saturday, 17 August 2013

I'm sorry you can't stay..

I'm sorry you can't stay,
You have filled my veins with poison,
I'm sorry you cant stay,
I've deliberated & fear this is my only way,
I'm sorry you can't stay, 
Too many chances have been given away,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
My feelings have a better game to play,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
No words can express the words I need to say,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
You should have done more than just lay,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
It's nothin personal but its the price you pay,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
I hope you find a cure for yourself one day,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
My soul needs to learn to be okay,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
I can't promise you'll understand not even in the month of may,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
Your influence has made me fray,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
I deserve one day not filled with Grey,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
I have enough ghosts to slay,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
Don't think it's easy for me to stray,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
I lack confidence to stand still I will always sway,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
I'm sick of your vile served on a tray,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
The truth is no one believed did they,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
No leaving party I won't scream YEY,
I'm sorry you can't stay,
I'm sorry you just can't stay.. 

Sunday, 16 June 2013

You have always been their in my life & given me good tips,
Like how to swim & ride my bike
And keep quiet while you kip.
Other stuff came naturally like our friendship.

For all the pocket-money lending,
And The hours listening to me venting,
For letting me off with lots of rule bending,
And believing me even when I was just inventing,
My respect for you is truly unending. 

As time is getting on its important that you know,
That you mean the world to me & helped to make me grow,
You are a great dad to me & my bro,
And I carry you in my heart wherever I go.

My memories of our adventures will never ever perish,
And please know that every day your strength & love I cherish.

So many special moments in each year,
But sharing them with you made them Dear,
Your a hero to me dad, so i never had to fear.
May you enjoy your day & an ice cold beer.

Happy Father's Day pops x

Saturday, 25 May 2013


The hot air creates a breeze,
As it rushes through the trees,
Lifting and scattering all the leaves,
Faint sounds of buzzing honey bees,
Ice cream van sirens echo as a tease,
Everyone out in summer slogan tee's,
Today we don't dream about the sun overseas,
No complaints about your hay-fever sneeze,
Old men lounging in outdated capri's,
Teens dancing on fields to the latest CDs,
Smiling becomes a feel good disease,
People drag themselves away from facebook & their PCs,
For today the sun is brighter than all of these.. 

Tuesday, 14 May 2013

You paralysed me..

As you look down to me on this floor,
I hear your voice screech just once more,
Looking at you we both know the score,
Neither of our hearts can take anymore,
You have paralysed me forever more.

My eyes flutter fast and slowly they blink,
Something inside you decided to sink,
Your bitter words are starting to stink,
Living this way pushed me to the brink,
You have paralysed me, I can't think.

Fail me again I will never allow you to do,
I've learnt to do better than listen to you,
Many times I saved you but lost you too,
On the ability to love you have no clue.
You have paralysed me, I feel blue.

I stumbled but learnt to dance,
I got tired of giving you one last chance,
At your feet I give you one last glance,
This is the end of our lifetime stance.
You have paralysed me, I'm in a trance.

In you my creator I find i was matched,
You avoided me getting too attached,
Your love locked and sealed with a latch,
I find it hard to see you were a catch,
You have paralysed me,my pride I snatch
Nothing hurts more than seeing you die,
I see it every day when I look in your eye,
Everyone else seems to believe your lie,
But only your little girl hears you cry,
You have paralysed me, I have to say goodbye.

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

April of my life..

So as my clock ticks to 00:01 and we enter May 2013 I feel the need to take note and say WOW that was one of the best Aprils of my life..

On the 1st day of the month I packed my big smalls into a case and jetted off to Spain for 10 days of sun, sea and sangria.
We celebrated dads 50th birthday;
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Met some cute animals:
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And these cuties;
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Watched some amazing shows:
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Absolutely thrashed Ricky at bowling:
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And had a lovely relaxing time with my fellow blood bonds:
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I got home in time to celebrate Nicks birthday with a night out:
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We had drinks and laughs before heading home on the late bus with my queenie:
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I then attended a VIP event with Alison, Jackie, Nick, Rob, Claire and Cherise full of excellent art work and a very special set of prints by the wonderful Claire:
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We ended the night in McDonald's and wobbled off home to sleep off the freebie wine.
I had my favourite boys round for a catch up:
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And hugged the hair off buddy Flopper;
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I had 6 fabulous days at college this month of which one day included this:
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And the other saw me finish class 3 of my art journal course:
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I also spent a full day at the cinema watching Bernie, iron man, oblivion and love is all you need and signed up with a hideous photo for an unlimited card.
I did this:
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Got given these:
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And these by my wonderful friends:
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Spent time with my fur babies:
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And spoilt them as always:
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I went out for fish Friday:
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Followed by a trip to the nottingham contemporary to see dumb things.

I celebrated Alison's birthday with cake:
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And watched her squeak as she opened her present:
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I took goofy photos:
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I made pretty cards:
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I babysat pickles the furby:
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I laughed, i learnt and I joined the WI.
I met new people and gained new movie quotes but above all I made some amazing memories.
April, thank you for being good to me. I will never forget you :)
Peace out x

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Bob the Blogger

Who else would have a half hour laughing fit with you via text message at 22:30 at night & leave tears full of funny dripping from your eyes? Queenie would, That's the kind of girl she is...

Gee, It must be pushing 4 years since i parked my big ass in her class room, Her eyes rolled at the prospect of another nutter joining her already full to capacity group of crazies but she found room for me to stay and i silently declared right there and then that i would never allow myself to be removed from her pupil list.

See Jenna Wright is never wrong and i always know a good thing when i bash in to it.
Here she was, in a cluttered classroom, in a shop without an ounce of warmth, teaching 15 people how to use a rubber stamp.
Did she grumble when we got it wrong? Did she look worried when i refused to make eye contact?
Did she fail to repeat the process another 100 times? Did she decide she simply wasn't paid enough for this stress? or get angry as 5 students demand 7 different drinks?
She took it in her stride. It is typical of the queen i have come to know and love, to go above and beyond her expected duties.
By giving a part of herself she didn't have to give, She gave back to others a part of themselves they thought they had lost forever.
I decided long ago that this member of royalty will not just be my favourite teacher, She would be my friend.

You know my Queenie, shes been a bit down lately and it frustrated me deeply to see her in such a state. So much so that i find myself typing this frantically into my keyboard.
Some people just get all the shit. Some people just need a god damn break.
Some people, Some really nice bloody people deserve some happiness for once.
See, if i had a magic wand, id wave it over her multi coloured hair and inflict on her some good luck and some tickets to see Dolly Parton because for everything she does for everyone else, She gets nothing but shit in return. I'm putting this out there right now and I'm saying to you blog reader, I just don't think its fair.
I'm sorry you feel like shit dear girl, id change it for you in a flash.
If only James Arthur and Will.I.Am would come see you!

Wile my dearest partner in crime was busy being wacky & witty she taught me alot of things without realising it.
See, the thing about not having a close relationship with your mother is the ability to allow your brain to be morphed by empowering women and people you respect. My fragile, untainted, barely 16 year old mind was a blank canvas when i met her and now its full of bad words, stupid stuff and how to dress Magnolia Tilda dolls with cute paper. Along with other priceless extra curricular lessons.
When she falls, She does get back up. When shes mad, She shows shes mad. When she wants something, she aims for it. When she does something, she smashes it. When shes funny, shes hilarious. She never leaves a solider behind as she marches through life with her entourage following.
See, once you know Queenie, you know her for life. no-one wants to leave her. Hence why its blooming critical she gets some good times soon because we need her. Shes our middle.
Ain't no party be happening if Queenie ain't dancing. Get what I'm saying?

2, 4, 6, 8 who do we appreciate.. 9, 10, count again.. Queenie likes brick shit house men..

I'm struggling to find something shes ever done wrong.. I mean its never happened..
Wait, she did lose me in the middle of London one time..
Oh and she shouted out my middle name really loud...
Ah and the time she sang happy birthday to me in asda was a good example..
Also a time she got a bit shopper ragged when someone dared to push in front of her in Schuh...
The time she fell over and broke her arm...
The moment she asked for a straight jacket in the mind shop..
Marching us out of a restaurant that didn't sell diet coke or when she showed me up by swearing repeatedly during a horror film at the cinema..
Encouraging me to take 5 forks from nibbles when i only needed one ..
Also the time she complained about the price of a tram ticket and snorted at me for having no gums.. okay, okay.. so there are a few little tiny incidents that are worth noting but you know what, shes a reet good laugh is our claireyfairy.

Dearest, delicate, delightful, darling, dewdrop, dimple, diva Queenie,
You are fabulous, You are splendid and you will make it through this stronger than a bottle of really strong glue. That's just what you do, Its just what you've always done and no matter what happens, I will always be around to carry your lunch up the hill and watch pointless things at the cinema with you because just like you did for me all those years ago, I will always believe in you and your ability to get your shit together. 
Some people have skinny bodies and eat cream cakes for a living, yet I'm still luckier than them.
For i have you in my life and an unlimited cinema ticket in my pocket. Boo ya, up in ya junk.
Love you long time, Jenna Bobs  x

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Happy 10th birthday princess.

This post is a little bit late but I can not let a week past without mentioning her.
Domino may, you have turned 10 and I can't believe I have had you half of my life.
Iv spent more time with you than I have without you and you have provided me with company throughout many tough times, you listened and didn't response as I cried all over you or laughed down your tiny ears. Your cuddles are priceless, your entertainment and smiles even more so. You are a little poser, a loveable little poser and you are far more to me than I ever thought a cat could possibly be. Here is to another 10 years my girl x

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Happy birthday Ricky,
I hope you have a blast,
Spare a moment to read this poem. as I talk about our past.

You were aged just four when I was born,
I knew that instantly you were far from the norm,
In our red tikes car you'd push me & sound a horn,
As i followed your lead i knew you were of special Form,
Playing cricket on the grass till our clothes got torn,
You stood by my pram & to the world you scorn,
Dont touch my sister you'd warn.

You'd wash me in the sink that was my bath,
Assigned to me for life I knew we would have a laugh,
Although that yellow string vest was naff,
You have the role of sibling down to a craft,
Threw tricky water we will always share one raft.

Whatever you need you can always twist my arm,
How could i resist a noob with charm,
In our little red shed we'd play in the calm,
Uke you'd call repeatedly like an alarm.
For 20 years you sheltered me from harm.

As life gets tough your struggle it might,
it will always also be my fight,
For being your sister means ill always answer your plight.
Ill fight your corner till the very end,
We have a unique bond, a special blend,
Even if you break everything i lend,
Like dinner with mamma every weekend,
Hours with you are amongst the best ill Spend,
I have a brother therefore I will always have a friend.

You'd hold my hand when I cry,
if I was in trouble, you'd help me lie,
Being your target practise hurt oh my,
I had you to annoy how lucky was I,
We grew up in the blink of an eye,
I had the best man to help those years go by.

Holidays digging on the beach and in the sea,
Christmas mornings sat side by side in glee,
It's been a joy watching you grown into all you currently be,
If I could have picked a bro in 1993, i'd still have picked you Ricky lee,
Thank you for looking after me.

We share the same blood but its the memories that are our glue,
Your hard work at times that's true,
but i treasure you older sibling and everything we do,
On our own we wouldn't have a clue,
but side by side we will always get Through,
The highlight of my childhood was you.

Sunday, 10 February 2013

February 2013

So its not undocumented that 2012 was crap. Rubbish, Nasty. I never thought it would end but as they say, 'life goes on'..Well it really honestly does.
February was long awaited, fabulous February, a new month. My respite from 2012 and the start of a brilliant 2013, it hasn't let me down yet, Ten days in and I'm having a blast..

Sunday (03.02.13)
 Was the mothers birthday and although i only saw her for an hour the whole day it went as well as it possibly could. I brought her some flowers and wish i kept them for myself. Beautiful!

Monday (04.02.13)
I found myself back at crafty college with the crazy chicks and some of the the 3C's gang. Claire has been teasing me with her set of shoe stamps for months but she finally let us use them, I adore them! 
We laughed, we chatted and we ate cake. We did make stuff, honest we did but it was mainly laughing..

Tuesday (05.02.13)
I spend the day in town picking up photos and pretty things for upcoming birthdays. I also purchased a new dress and then got lost looking for the bus stop. Yes i have lived here 16 years but it just moved without any direction to its temporary new home - Rude.
I did my deed of the day by helping two old men with bus fair though, so i hope you were watching Jesus above!

Wednesday (06.02.13)
In a pre birthday, birthday I took my brother and daddy out for dinner.
Lots of  laughing was done and did you know you can buy a 32oz steak? I mean..seriously?
I then made a birthday cake and sang my little lungs out.
Not bad for my first attempt, What do you think?

Thursday (07.02.13)
After a few days of loveliness real life did kick in again when i had to tidy the house and go food shopping.
I did get cheered up by a visit from my favourite pooch though!

Friday (08.02.13)
I was back at college for my second art journal class. I do moan a bit and get frustrated when i lack inspiration but i am getting in to it. I am looking forward to seeing the end result which is a long way off yet so plenty of time for Claire to turn me into a pro...
Sherwood was snow free and Christmas tree this week but a man got killed by literally losing his head when he got ran over by a lorry. Sounds vile right? it was..

Saturday (09.02.13)
Yesterday i went to the theatre with two of the best chicks on the planet. Miss.Anti bacon Cherise and Mrs. Queenie Claire. We went to see Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo and after changing seats, getting put next to a moody women, someone reading a newspaper and a boy wearing a moustache, we had a brilliant time. Stopping half way through for ice cream, obviously.

(Photo by the lovely Queenie)
Well, that's all for now folks. I'm off for some R & R ready for my 7am alarm, Back to the mad house.. I mean college tomorrow :)

Sunday, 13 January 2013

No comfort here

The world will spin and ill commit a sin,
But you'll get no comfort here.
The sharks will bite and they'll curse something's not right,
But you'll get no comfort here.
A man will die and from my heart ill cry,
But you'll get no comfort here.
All our ears will ring till those birds they cease to sing,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Ill carry that mop to the highest tree top,
But you'll get no comfort here.
My wounds will reopen and get checked by a locum,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Even if you stamp your feet till the flood boards creek,
You'll get no comfort here.
Sob yourself a river, make yourself quiver,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Fragile china will drop, you'll split the lot,
But you'll get no comfort here.
You work hard, believe and achieve,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Stand hard as a rock and they will all mock,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Smile like your glad, let it turn you mad,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Stand face to face and act in haste,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Cry your eyes red, say every word left unsaid,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Write another letter, pray things get better,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Drop to your knees, beg of her when no-one else see's,
But you'll get no comfort here.
You'll grow strong even without a knee to sit upon,
But you'll get no comfort here.
The past will fade and the aching will stay were it laid,
But you'll get no comfort here.
Question will be asked, you will laugh,
You'll get no comfort here,
Head held high even with pain going on inside,
You'll get no comfort here,
Many memories held of the looks that turned you cold,
You'll get no comfort here,
Fall hard alone to stand up without a single moan,
You'll get no comfort here,
Growing up in a flash but these moments they last,
You'll get no comfort here,
Compassion didn't exsist, just another chore on their list,
You'll get no comfort here,
oh no, no comfort my dear..

Friday, 4 January 2013

My first 20 years spent, I wave my teens goodbye,
How the years have flown oh my,
From child to now, no time to sigh or dwell,
My memories mine to show & tell,
I laughed as I watched Keenan & kell,
Cried inside when no-one could tell,
Baked cakes that had a lingering smell,
upon my demons I cast a spell,
Been exposed to fights till my head rang like a bell,
Mostly years dominated by School and friends,
the battles with myself that I never thought would end,
holidays to skegness with pocket money to spend,
I learned many things I didn't intend,
But lots left to learn I won't pretend,
The things I lent & never got back,
Stuff I broke or left with a crack,
Up high on a ride or in the garden with my tent,
These are the flashbacks of years well spent,
Cheeky but loyal, I said what I meant,
Obsessed with my toy doll till she bent,
Talking in riddles to some but I always knew what I meant,
Addicted to pintrest and many emails sent,
With a collection of Betty boops and clothes,
Moments and photos I have loads,
Summer days in the rock garden or at home as dad mowed,
Iv seen so much yet nothing at all,
In this big world I'm still so small,
Iv come along away but still won't answer a call,
Sunday mornings with my own Carboot stall,
Friday nights at the labour club with family and all,
Looking back its clear to see,
No more teens maybe but this isn't the end of me,
I'm an adult now but inside still their baby,
In this new chapter ill concer the world maybe,
As I dance around this planet in the seas of navy,
The road hasn't always been easy, infact very shady,
But through all of this I turned from teen to lady..